LIFE INTERRUPTED

G.K. Chesterton, the English author, often forgot where he was going, and would miss appointments and trains to take him there. It is said on many occasions he would send a telegram to his wife asking, “Where ought I to be”?  And many times, she would reply “At home.”  
Countless days I have felt like G.K. Chesterton; double booking, over scheduling, and rushing from one commitment to another, filling every minute of my day. Sound familiar?
I started to feel ill a few days before Christmas, but tried not to take notice, and thought it to be a minor inconvenience. But as the days passed I realized “it” had taken up residence and was not about to leave. I went to a walk-in-clinic and they prescribed an antibiotic. I busied myself with books, crocheting, and sleep while waiting for signs I was on the mend.
I prayed;
Dear God help me to heal quickly, I have so much work to do for you.
Dear God, no change, please help me get well soon.
Dear God, Hello are you there?
Dear God still waiting for the cure.
Dear God, this is annoying can you send me a sign?
Dear Jesus, Your Father is not answering can you talk to him?
Heading into the third week, I went to my regular physician who chose to put me through a battery of tests.
Dear God, I am really getting behind in my schedule.
God this is not funny!
The silence was deafening. They say God answer’s prayer three ways, Yes, No and wait. I was definitely in God’s waiting room.
I have heard that when you awake each day you have two choices to live by,
faith or fear. When I did not get an answer and I was not improving, I gave way to fear and when you open the door to fear, its little minions march in along side. So not only are you fearful, but you experience other negative symptoms.
One day I remembered a verse from a song that says “as the thunder rolls I can barely hear you whisper through the rain, ‘I am with you‘”
I had been causing a lot of thunder. I was so focused on myself that I would not have heard God short of Him roaring in my ear. Could it be I was standing in my own way? Perhaps I needed to reflect on where I was going and what I have been doing.
Had I become so self absorbed that my relationship with God was suffering? My prayers, my devotionals, my bible studies were more briefed than studied. It seemed I was always praying on the fly, anxious to get to my next project. When I would feel a twinge of guilt I would assuage it by thinking, God understands. It had not occurred to me that my plans were not Gods plans. After all, these works were for him, I would be doing them in His name. You can imagine my shame when it occurred to me that I was quite possibly doing them in MY NAME!! How embarrassing, how humbling. How could I have gotten so far off track?
Christians often speak of their calling in referring to the work they do for God. However, sometimes the calling can be in reverse; God calling us away from what we are doing. Was this the situation in which I found myself?
My down time was one of those blessings in disguise. I had time to put my relationship with God under the microscope, to analyze why I had become so caught up in “works” for God and not working on my relationship with Him.
I was expecting God’s blessings, forgetting they are a gift. He is not in the business of answering prayers on demand. He is not a celestial gift shop. Thankfully, once I stopped complaining and started focusing on Him, I found my answers. Happily, I am on the mend both spiritually and physically.

“….Do not be silent to me,
Lest, if You are silent to me
 I become like those who go down to the pit” Psalm 28:1

“Hear my prayer, oh Lord
Give ear to my supplications
In your faithfulness answer me.” Psalm 143:1

“For by grace you have been saved through faith and that not of yourselves;
It is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” Ephesians 2:11