He had demons...

He had demons. We loved him anyway.

She and her family loved him and his son unconditionally. 

He had demons.

That day that is forever emblazoned  in their memories...the same one that scarred the very depth of their heart and soul...they found him. 

Dead. 

At the bottom of his hot tub...

He had demons..

They had all lived with his drinking. They had talked , begged, prayed, for him. His demons ruled.

What was he afraid of in the sober moments of his life. What frightened him that he would not, could not break free. He did not choose to break free.

He was successful, some would say wealthy. When he was sober he was an amazing man. He was kind and generous ....He lived large ...he was large in every corner of your very life...

He had a son...he adored that son. He lived for that son. Wouldn't you think he would turn his life around for that boy...who now is fatherless at three. 

He had demons.

The demons robbed his son. The demons robbed his friends, his loved ones. 

They won. and I ask to what avail...

We shall never know. Never know why the alcohol made him feel invincible, why it gave him a sense security ....a false one...why as he said " it's the only time he felt happy." Maybe numb would better describe it...Why he danced and laughed with his demons. Why he played Russian roulette with his life. Why did he love his demons more then his son....more then those who loved him..

We will ask for years to come...how could we have saved him. How could we have helped him...perhaps an intervention as was discussed. What? what?

And when I, I ask God. He says he never ask me, he never knew me. and I wonder how we all could have changed that...or could we have.

The sad ending to a life that we all wish had taken a different course..

I would love to end this...with a positive message..

But today I am speechless...broken for his family and friends.

I wish Jesus had been in his life. I wish we had taken the time to talk to him about Jesus. 

When I first heard ...I thought we failed him...even though he was not approachable in the arena of God...Still...could we have?

We will never know.

But it makes me very aware...that those opportunities must never go by without at least attempting.....

Only God knows...who would hear ''when we share his word.'

Rest In Peace...I hope you have at last found it in your death...